I don’t think so, because one of us is already in love.

Having said that, I’m really not sure which one of us has broken the golden rule and fallen for the other. I know that I definitely feel something for you. But what I see in your eyes, is that a reflection of my emotions? Or something of your own?

Every ‘friends with benefits’ story has one of the following starting points.

a) A broken heart
b) A carefree brain garnished with tequila.

Ours was a weird combination of both, remember? I had recently broken up and was downing shots after shots like a wimpy damsel in distress. We weren’t best buddies back then. For me, you were just a part of the gang like most others. But something changed that night and I guess I have mixed feelings about it.

So, you approached me with yet another drink in hand. It was water. You grabbed my phone from the bar counter and slapped it into my hand.

All was amazing till the day I opened the door to your bedroom and felt my heart skip a beat.


That night, you made me drunk dial my ex and curiously watched as I let out all my frustration at him. Quite surprisingly for me, we had sober sex just after and it was you who introduced me to my first ‘no strings attached’ relationship.

Our friendship improved and so did my performance in bed. I gathered that this was your way of life. You didn’t like commitments and barely had time for a girlfriend. I never judged you. After all, I was the girl who was using you to get over her dramatically broken past relationship, right? All was amazing till the day I opened the door to your bedroom and felt my heart skip a beat. Your smile did that to me.

Now, don’t get me wrong. It wasn’t supposed to go this way. Sure, I’m sort of a romantic but not the sappy kind who believes that a girl and a boy can never be friends without Cupid’s involvement. I never planned to have feelings for you. So, what happened? Honestly, I’ve no idea.

Why do you suddenly want to cuddle after sex?

2 .jpg

Initially, I was crazily in love with the adrenaline rush I got through this. We would put up an act in front of our friends and the next minute we were in a shady corner, your hands in my shirt and mine around your neck. Hiding your hickeys was quite a task! I loved how there was no pressure to be the ideal girlfriend. We could just have sex and go back to acting like it never happened. It was almost equal to leading a double life!

But I think it all slowly started going down the drain the day I saw you with Ms. Hot Legs from your office. I was so jealous, it was almost insane! I know that we had made rules when it came to seeing other people but in that very moment, I wanted to walk up to you and sling our arms together for the whole world to see (especially Ms. Hot legs).

But I couldn’t. Because we weren’t dating and I was far from being your girlfriend.

And I say that I’m not the only one feeling these changes because of how you’ve been acting since the past few months.

You think I don’t notice you staring at me when you feel I’m not looking?

Why do you suddenly want to cuddle after sex?

What about the time we binge watched on Netflix without the chill?

And just last month you called me at 3am, crying because your cat died.

This can’t go on because there’s definitely some strings attached, and they keep pulling at my heart. It’s time we either cut them off for good… or do you have something else in mind?

We desperately need to talk,
Your duck buddy.

Author: Alisha Jamshed Syed

One comment

Leave a Reply