Don’t worry. It’s not the end of the world, honey.

Hey handsome, now that you are all heartbroken and full of angst, I have to be nice to you. I hate it. If I can’t make your life hell, how in the world am I supposed to have fun? But that’s exactly the thing. Only I am allowed to infuriate you and make your life hell. Nobody else. Apparently, your ex-girlfriend did not get the memo. That girl broke my best friend’s heart and now she’s going to have to face my wrath. Just kidding. I know you’re a big boy and that you can take care of yourself.

I was around when you started dating her. I was an onlooker when you guys were
nauseatingly cute and in love. I comforted you after your first fight; I helped you pick out an anniversary gift. Basically, I have seen it all. In some weird twisted way, I was indirectly a part of your relationship. Ugh, talk about gross. No wonder your sweet (evil) girlfriend hated me. Yeah, she did; you can’t deny that anymore.

Your heart is broken but use your brain and you’ll realise that you’re in a better place now.

guy 1

I hope you don’t become the typical dramatically heartbroken guy who drinks and gets into bar fights. That’ll just mean that I will have to turn up to save your skinny ass, drive you home, convince your parents that you weren’t out drinking and stop you from drunk dialling your ex. So let’s avoid that, shall we?

Now that you are no longer dating that mean chick, I can freely tell you that I absolutely hated her. You are a hot and nice guy. Do you know how rare that combination is? I mean, even I would have a crush on you if I hadn’t seen you suffer from puberty. I’m sorry for causing further heartbreak, mate, but just no. We wouldn’t work. But there are so many wonderful girls out there who would totally be up for dating you. I could set you up with someone if you want.

Anyway, my point is that your ex sucked. She was mean to you; she was manipulative.
She expected you to pay every single restaurant bill and madam always wanted to eat at
fancy places. You weren’t even allowed to meet me! She kept you away from your best
friend. It was a toxic relationship. Your heart is broken but use your brain and you’ll realise that you’re in a better place now.

Heartbreaks are a part of life.


Mate, we’ve been here before. One of us falls in love, gets hurt, goes through the whole tedious process of moving on and the other one is always there. You know that you’re
going to get over her soon enough and then you’ll be busy hitting on ten other random
girls. You are sad now but you’ll get back to being your gross self in no time. And I’ll be
there for you all through this.

Once you’re ready, you’re going to fall in love again and this time, hopefully with someone who values you as much as you value her. Maybe you will find your life-partner in your next relationship or maybe you won’t. None of us have any control over these things. Heartbreaks are a part of life and it helps you to write new music. The relationship wasn’t entirely a waste.

You’re young, wild and reasonably pretty (yes, pretty! Have you seen your eye-lashes?).
You’re going to mope around for a bit, not shave and eat a crazy amount of pizza (or
chocolate ice cream), and then you will move on. Life goes on that way. You’ll be fine.
I hate you.

Your best bud.

Author: Maitreyee Mhatre


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