It’s impossible to think of a solution when you don’t know that you’re in trouble!

Now, many people would disagree with me on this, but I have been thinking about it for a very long time. When one says that Indian women need to be liberated with a sense of security and unbiased freedom, we’re not only referring to those living in their villages but also those who stay comfortably in sky-high apartments too.

Majority of the gender based issues that we face today are not just due to lack of sensitivity or basic awareness in men. They exist also because of the patriarchy fed to women since birth. And mostly, that has nothing to do with where you live. It’s a widespread infection!

So, let me first tell you what patriarchy really means. It’s not just a monster hiding outside of our closets and telling us that blue is for men and pink is for women, but so much more than that! It’s the demon that manipulates us into thinking that gender roles define our lives; that the place of a woman is in the kitchen and that of a man is nowhere near it.

Indian women are brainwashed till the time they are six feet under.


Now, what can be done to eliminate this problem? Firstly, it needs to be considered as one! It’s the root cause of almost everything; from gender bias to gender based violence. Secondly, I think that more than men, we women need to understand the issue, it’s effects and how deeply it’s roots have corroded our lives.

Keeping aside those girls who never got to see the next milestone of life between birth and death, Indian women are brainwashed till the time they are six feet under. Don’t believe me?

“What will she do with all that education? Teach her to make perfectly round rotis!” – #1 Indian women are useless if they can’t cook.

Being so ambitious isn’t healthy for a woman. What if you aren’t allowed to work after marriage?” – #2 Her future is decided by someone else. Always.

“30 and still single! What’s the problem?” #3 She has to be in a relationship to give meaning to her life.

“You ought to get pregnant now. It’s about time.” #4 Her biological clock is always ticking.

“You’re a widow who lives all by herself. Doesn’t it get lonely?” – #5 Apparently, being alone and lonely are the same things.

We can’t live in this cloud of dependency anymore.


To throw more light on the above unwanted advice, I would like you to imagine their speakers. Now, if you’re imagining bald, ageing men with no purpose in life, you wouldn’t be entirely wrong.

But what if I tell you that these dialogues have been spoken by our mothers, sisters and aunts at some point or another in their lives. And I can even go ahead and say that Indian women are not taught how to be alone and that’s the problem.

But you know what? That’s only part of the problem. Yes, giving more importance to their kitchen stove, their parents, relatives, husbands and children, than anything else, even themselves is the other part. In India, women are never perceived as individuals who could have other priorities, like their own selves, their careers or hobbies for that matter.

It’s true that we’re seldom taught how to be alone. But more important than misogynistic teachings, is how we apply them and if we want to apply them in our lives. We can’t live in this cloud of dependency anymore. Let’s start breaking the chains that have us hooked to the ground since birth.

It’s time to shine. It’s time to be free.

Someone who has already broken free.

Author: Alisha Jamshed Syed

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