I’m done making excuses for my lack of interest in sexual activity.
When you are a young woman living in this society, you cannot do anything right. If you are fat, you eat too much and you’re ugly but if you’re skinny, women suddenly need curves to be attractive. If you are tall, how are you ever going to find a husband taller than you? If you are short, what kind of a man is going to want a short wife? As if, marriage is our sole aim in life. And it doesn’t end there! If you are sexually active and you have lost the V-card before marriage, you are a slut. If you choose to wait, you become a prude. Trust me, I have been called a ‘prude’ for the past ten years.
During the crazy years of high school, all my girlfriends were getting kissed for the very first time. I was an exception. I was a complete tomboy and while that didn’t make me ugly in any way, most of the guys I knew considered me as one of them. And they definitely didn’t want to kiss each other back then.
I found out that they had made bets on ‘Will she lose her virginity this year or not?’.
I celebrated my 25th birthday yesterday with the same gang of girls who have stood by me through thick and thin since our school days. We had gone partying in the newest club in town and oh my god, it was a night to remember! We danced till our feet hurt and we got so drunk! All of us had dressed up and we took so many amazing pictures!
But, when I was coming back from the loo, I saw my friends exchange money rather aggressively. After a bit of digging, I found out that they had made bets on ‘Will she lose her virginity this year or not?’. It seems like a lot of them lost the bet and had to pay up. My friends sure had a lot of faith in me. They thought after 24 years of living without sex, suddenly I’d crave it and give in during the 25th year of my life. Of course, my best friend knew better. She is aware of all my reasons for staying a chaste virgin. Lucky girl, it led to her winning a lot of money.
But, it also hurt. I mean, why is everyone so obsessed with my virginity?
The thing is after hearing all those horror stories about my friends’ first times, I am not sure if I want to do it at all.
There was a time when I wondered if there was something wrong with me because I just wasn’t ready to have sex. Most of my boyfriends didn’t get it. Some of them even dumped me over it. And every time, I faced the same question- why couldn’t I do it? I mean, sure, I haven’t been in love yet (even at the ripe, old age of 25) but people have causal sex all the time! Why couldn’t I?
The thing is after hearing all those horror stories about my friends’ first times, I am not sure if I want to do it at all. Then again, I have read enough romance novels to be at least a little curious. It’s just that if losing my virginity is going to be so painful and so awkward, I’d rather wait for the guy I love and I am actually comfortable with. What’s the point of doing something and not having any fun?
Now that I have turned 25, I have even accepted this part of me. Yes, I’m a 25-year old virgin and that’s okay. I’m really okay without some ‘vitamin D’ in my life. You should be too. After all, it’s my life.
So over all the pressure,
The 25-Year Old Virgin.