The plot twist, here, is that I’m a guy too.

Are you a homophobe? Are you a firm believer of Adam and Eve and not Adam and Steve? Do gay people make you cringe? Do you think being homosexual is unnatural? Would you disown your child if he/she dared to come out of the closet? Are you of the opinion that being homosexual is against your God’s will? Well, then get ready for a tale right out of your nightmare.

Last night, I had gone for a party at my best mate’s place. We were all drinking, dancing, laughing and having a whole lot of fun. I hope you remember what fun is and what fun feels like. Due to the enormous quantity of booze being consumed, people got a bit tipsy and a lot freer. Couples started hooking up. Did the thought of straight couples making out make you feel angry? Well, then let me add that just as there were girls kissing guys, there were also girls kissing girls and guys kissing guys.

And guess what? I made out with this guy I have had a crush on for the longest time. His lips were on mine and there were tongues involved. It was nothing short of heavenly.

 I realised that I was so fortunate to have the ability to love another human being.

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It has been six months since I came out to my mom and dad. I had hit puberty but while all my peers were obsessing about the female body and their desire to get closer to one, I was just never interested. Girls were pretty but they did nothing for me sexually or romantically. Even back then, when I was a naive little kid, I knew that I could never fall in love with a girl. I did try though. Peer pressure is a thing and I tried going out on dates with girls. I made some great friends but nothing more. Finally, there came a time when I could not pretend any longer and I started drifting apart from my friends.

Then, one day, my eyes met his across the table at the school library and I kid you not, I have never blushed so much in my life. I had developed my first crush and it was on a guy! Everything that I had ever been taught, it told me that my feelings were wrong and filthy. But what I felt that day was the purest emotion that my heart has ever held. I realised that I was so fortunate to have the ability to love another human being. Two years later, I finally dared to kiss my crush and I loved every bit of it.

 Being gay, for me, is not a choice.

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My path to self-acceptance was not empty of hurdles. I was judged by the people whom I called my friends when I tried to confide in them. I was called all sorts of names and bullied too. But the most difficult thing to face was my parents’ reluctance to understand me and my sexuality. It took a lot of heated conversations and therapy sessions for them to understand that homosexuality is not unnatural and they finally came to accept me for who I am.

Being gay, for me, is not a choice. It is who I am and who I have always been. It does not mean that any kind of God hates me. It does not give you any right to demean me in any way. I am worthy of the same amount of respect as any other heterosexual person and I will settle for nothing less than that.

So, the next time me kissing my boyfriend makes you uncomfortable, know that it is your prejudice that makes you feel so. It is you who is wrong and not me. I am only doing the most basic and human thing- expressing my love for another person.

Regards,

A proud, gay boy who has just kissed the potential love of his life.



Author: Maitreyee Mhatre

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