But I guess that’s the first step of moving on!

There’s a very interesting theory about ‘déjà vu’; you know, the feeling you get at times which tells you that maybe you’ve been in this same place, doing the same things before. And boy, is it creepily wonderful.

So, the theory states that the feeling of being in the same situation all over again even when your brain knows that you are, in fact, experiencing the situation for the first time, has everything to do with association.

For example, if I am at Disneyland shaking hands with Mickey Mouse, I’ll have that ‘That’s So Raven’ kind of vision that I have shaken hands with Mickey at Disneyland before. But the truth is that I haven’t. So, for an action performed just once, I get the feeling of having performed it twice. That happens because I associate this shaking of the hand with another memory of mine! Probably shaking hands with Minnie Mouse at a local fair. But my brain tells me that both actions are the same! I have just associated the feeling I got at that fair to the one at Disneyland. And voilà! You have a déjà vu, which by the way in French, means ‘already seen’.

It was when I was reading about déjà vu that I understood how my brain was associating ‘love’ and everything related to it to my ex-boyfriend.

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Now, I know this is not an essay about a gimmicky phenomenon, but I recently had a sudden realization that I wasn’t really going insane, but it was my own brain which was playing tricks on me!

So, it has been a few months since my first ever relationship ended. And after the whole cycle of crying, being angry, googling videos on how to move on, stalking my ex and then pampering myself like there was no tomorrow, I realised I didn’t miss him anymore!

Me – 1, Ex – 0.

Honestly, it was when I was reading about déjà vu that I understood how my brain was associating ‘love’ and everything related to it to my ex-boyfriend. And here I was thinking that as my brain, it would be a bit partial to me, or sensible at least to not randomly associate everyday things like ‘Good Morning’ messages, hugs and kisses, comfy hoodies and the pinging sound of my phone with that man. Human body is a weird place I’ll tell you that.

But I feel that I am very lucky indeed to have come to this realisation that I have moved on from my first breakup but not from love of the romantic type as a whole concept. And that my friends, is half the war already won.

This theory sort of propagates rebound relationships or casual hook-ups so that the stupid organ in my head can start associating orgasms and dates with someone other than my ex.

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I know that this theory sort of propagates rebound relationships or casual hook-ups so that the stupid organ in my head can start associating orgasms and dates with someone other than my ex. But personally, I’m not very much in favour of the idea.

Why you ask? I mean, it would be totally wrong to use someone to get over another someone and then use someone again to get over the second someone! It’s like an endless vicious cycle! Moreover, I would never, ever in a million years want to lead a poor soul on. What sort of a human being even does that?!

But then again, with casual hook-ups when the other party is guaranteed to not have feelings for you and both people involved have a mutual understanding about it, then it’s a different thing altogether *grins in thought*.

Anyway, now that I have mastered this theory, I’m going to preach it to as many heartbroken souls as possible! So, are you in?

Love,
An enlightened Breakup Guru.



Author: Alisha Jamshed Syed

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