How do models act all cute and at-poise when the reality is far from the truth?
First things first, I don’t know which of you I’m talking to in particular. Maybe that expensive, lacy bra that sits in the comfort of my drawer most of the time, maybe the pair of thongs that is probably a pair sent from hell, or maybe that pair of underwear – the extremely ancient one that should be burned down and its ashes should be buried in a place where no one can find.
But one thing that can be said is that not one of you is entirely satisfactory.
If I wear that expensive, lacy bra with underwires and extreme padding, I feel like I’m trapped. It gets extremely hot inside and then when I pull the neck of my t-shirt and blow a little cool air inside in public, I’m labeled gross and unladylike? That night at the club, your straps kept popping out of my dress when I was all set to impress the cute guy at the bar. How I hated you then!
You are pure evil!
And don’t even get me started on thongs. You are pure evil. A pair made in hell! I don’t understand why any woman would want to have a constant wedgie. And yet, I have pairs upon pairs of you because apparently, according to your advertisers, I need them to make me look bold and sexy.
And talk about granny panties! On any regular day to work, you know I’d pick you but if God forbid things get a little cozy with bae, I’d rather just die than let him have a peek of you!
But whatever said and done, I will still believe in you and have blind faith that you will make me look sexy in times of need. You are the cheese to my nachos, the mutton to my biryani and the support to my jiggles!
Just maybe, behave a little please?
Every Single Girl!