Do you know how hard it is for me to not abuse right now?
Usually, I am an extremely normal human being. I wake up, groggily drink my coffee and start off with my schedule for the day. I check my to-do list and…well, who am I kidding? I don’t have to-do lists. But on other times I’m a very non-violent, sedate and composed being. I rarely lose my cool and I hardly ever abuse. But when I’m on the road…it’s not a very pretty scene.
It’s like I suffer a certain manic high when I’m driving because I turn into this horrible thing that gets so frustrated it takes all of my sane logic to not pull the steering wheel off its socket. But it’s not because I’m insane or anything. Well, not in the literal sense at least. Dear traffic signal, you test my patience.
God forbid you find a red light on your way to wherever.
You know you have those days where you drag yourself to socialize on weekends and then end up drinking half your body weight. It’s all fun and games until you wake up the next Monday morning and feel like banging your head on the floor of your room.
Yet, somehow you drag yourself out of the house and manage to stay up but God forbid you find a red light on your way to wherever. It feels like the Devil himself is testing you. And then another red light and another and every other till you finally reach your destination with your hair messed up and your mouth tainted with hundreds of dirty words and abuses that not even the sleazy man on the roadside corner would have heard of.
And it’s not just the red lights. The pedestrians are equally at fault who are in such a hurry to cross roads that they don’t give my incoming car another glance. I think their routines have sucked so much life out of them that they aren’t even afraid of death itself. But those others that wait. They wait right until the last second and when your vehicle is just about to cross them, they’ll show you their palm and run towards the other end of the road. To all those people, there’s a special place in hell reserved especially for you.
So dear Traffic Signal, I hate you!
After all this you’d think at least your fellow drivers in their vehicles will be nicer to you since they’re going through the same stuff but noooo! They will try to cut your route the second they see even the tiniest of space. And those selective others will start honking the exact same millisecond that the red light turns green. Slow claps for all of you!
So dear Traffic Signal, I hate you! Even though I know you’re just doing your job and keeping humans safe, you test my patience like nothing else!
Writing this while waiting for the red light to turn green,
Author: Zainab Haji