Did you know how sexist our society really is? Even porn is made keeping men in mind!

Back in the day, sex was such a taboo in itself that sex education was a thing only understood by R-rated movies or giggled conversations with handpicked friends. So it’s safe to say that in my younger days, I knew as much about sex as my neighbouring aunty does about my grades – they want to know more but don’t have the right resources!

“Is masturbation really that gross?”


So when a younger me was having a whispered conversation with a fellow girlfriend, she launched into how it was okay and ‘understood’ if boys wanted to ‘get off’ by themselves but how female masturbation was gross and desperate and then she broke into a fit of giggles. The younger me faintly smelled the sexism involved and kept quiet. But judging my silence, she dropped her voice even lower and scandalously asked me, “Do you do it?” Absolutely horrified, I wildly denied.

The shame that accompanied my denial was greater than my need for validation. I thought to myself, “Is masturbation really that gross?” “Is it wrong to enjoy it?” “Am I…dirty?”

To be honest, it’s just like eating when you’re hungry!


But the fault wasn’t in me. It was in the society’s standards. They had laid down the ‘rules’ that female masturbation is only for pornstars or sex-crazes. Even the thought of women enjoying sex was a thing unknown. We were always made to only reciprocate it or ‘enjoy’ the fact that we could satisfy our men.

Now I know dear Society that you are misogynistic but is it this bad? After all what’s the harm if a woman enjoys her own company? What’s the harm if I can give myself a hand? To be honest, it’s just like eating when you’re hungry! Are you afraid? Because we as women, have evolved! We hardly need men to change bulbs or open jars or even become employers. So I think you’re scared that if we don’t need a man even in bed, where will you go with your sexism and pride in being ‘the higher gender’?

So all I’d like to say to you, Dear Society is that you can go and ‘love’ yourself and Dear Girls, put one hand on your chest, one down under and repeat after me, “There’s no harm in a little D.I.Y”!




Someone who is not ashamed!

Author: Zainab Haji


  1. This open letter was really amazing.. we need to make people understand the thing wht we do is jst a need of our body notjing elSe

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