I cannot help but awkwardly laugh when people point at my graying hair.

Recently I looked at you in the mirror. But I looked carefully this time. And you know what I saw? I saw dark circles that seemed bigger than my friend circle. I saw wrinkles on my forehead and crow’s feet near my eyes. I saw acne on my chin and I saw more grays on my head than the regular black. I looked like a mess! Hardly anyone would guess my age right. And I think I know the reason why! To be honest, you and I both know!

It is all so strenuous that I feel tired even when I’ve just woken up.

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And it’s not just my physical appearance. My headaches have been a constant. So much so that I get surprised when I don’t have one during the day. The sleep I get is almost laughable. No kind of swing would be crazier than my mood-swings and let’s not even talk about body-aches.

It’s emotionally exhausting too. This constant worry, irritation at almost everything, poor judgment and the loss of desire to do anything. It is all so strenuous that I feel tired even when I’ve just woken up.

I know all the symptoms and I want to tell you this, I’m sorry!

Please bear with me.

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I know that this stress is taking a toll on you and how! You haven’t been eating because of my silly train of thoughts. You haven’t slept in what seems like forever because my head cannot stop its pointless uneasiness. You cannot find your calm because my brain cannot take a break. I know and I’m sorry.

Now I cannot promise that this will get over soon but I can tell you this that I will try making it better. So even though this is going to take some time, please bear with me. For it’s going to take long to cut through the bars of this prison that I’ve built for myself.

Until then, try loving me at least a little?

 

Always be with me,

You and me!



Author: Zainab Haji

 

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