No matter how much you feel otherwise, I want you to understand how strong you actually are!
A constant restlessness, a kind of chill that spreads throughout your body, random muscle spasms, having your mind go as blank as a pristine white sheet of paper, a never-ending chaos, a constant heavy burden on your heart and the feeling of someone pulling out your guts through your mouth and choking you with it. The severe symptoms are all too familiar.
I have had moments where my mind would go numb but my heart would feel like it was going to explode. I have had my share of anxiety attacks. I would lie on the cold, hard floor in a fetal position and cry so much it would feel like I was going to lose vision. I have been through times where I felt like the walls were closing in on me.
It’s the most horrible feeling one can go through!
You feel like you are helpless. There are mountains of things that are out of your control and you don’t know how to deal with it. It feels like you’re shrinking and the load on your shoulders is getting heavier. And to make it worse, people tell you to either ‘grow up’ or ‘deal with it’ or ‘it’s not even a real disease’. In a gist, it’s the most horrible feeling one can go through!
And so you need to know, you’re not alone.
But no matter how dark the tunnel seems or how far away the light seems at the end of it, you need to know that you, like me, will get out of it.
The one thing that pulled me out of that hellhole was support. No matter how silly the answer seems, support is going to be your best bet. Surround yourself with your family, true friends and anyone who cares about you enough to sit through it all and not ask you to ‘stop acting like a wuss’.
Hope for a clearer mind and a lighter heart.
Once you have it, you need an emotional cleanse. It’s like pulling off a Band-Aid, you need to do it swiftly. You have to tell yourself that not everything is going to be in your control and that you, like anyone else, have flaws. But these flaws only mean you’re human. Every morning, look into the mirror and tell yourself, ‘you can do this’ because to be honest, that’s the one thing I didn’t do!
Lastly, hope! Hope for a better tomorrow. Hope for a clearer mind and a lighter heart. Hope to live through this. And hope to help others like you.
I know it seems too much right now but I promise it’s going to be so easy. I lived through it and I survived and I know you will too. And then, we shall stand hand-in-hand to pull out others from under this miserable grip.
Someone Who Believes In You!