I like to call myself a successful woman but you have already given me a name – an ideal wife!

Now I know how fast your eyebrows will shoot up at even the slightest mention of apprehensions related to marriage. Almost as fast as my parents’ the moment I decided to tell them I wasn’t ready. But hear me out before you call me names like self-centered and egotistical!

I was brought up in a fairly liberal family structure or at least comparatively progressive but it wasn’t always like that. As the youngest child, I had privileges my elder sibling didn’t. Because as I grew, my parents grew with me and so did society in general. If she were alive, my great-grandmother would have probably died again at even the thought of me coming home at 1 or 2 in the night.

But as they say, it’s 2017 and the world is way past its narrow-minded beliefs. So I would like to believe that women would at least have some privileges if not all. Society has very recently digested the fact that women are going to work shoulder-to-shoulder with men. People have finally widened their visions enough to see that women can do other things besides child-birth.

Then why do you want me to give up all of it?

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And so, my parents have brought me up to become this successful, independent woman that I am. I have worked self-sufficiently since I was 15 and I have grown to absolutely love what I do. Then why do you want me to give up all of it?

I know you’re going to tell me that that’s the way it is supposed to work. I need to have a family. I need to ‘settle-down’. But I already have a family. I have my parents, my siblings and my dog and I am content. I earn enough to provide for myself and my family. Am I not settled-down then?

I want to first build myself enough to be able to build a relationship with a completely different human.

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However, I am yet at the stage in life where I don’t know my purpose. I haven’t discovered myself entirely. Only recently I realized that I like olives on my pizza. There’s so much I don’t know yet. Then how do you expect me to meet an entirely new person and decide to spend the rest of my life with him in just a snap?

Now I’m not saying that I don’t want to fall in love and have cute children with their tiny fingers and toes. But not yet! I want to first build myself enough to be able to build a relationship with a completely different human.

So until then, the next time you see me at a wedding, don’t pull my cheeks and tell me I’m next. It’s a not-so-humble request!

 

Yours (but not really)

A millennial woman!



Author: Zainab Haji

 

One comment

  1. Beautifully written. For ages girls like us are trained to be an ideal wife consciously or unconsciously. A man is only trained to live like that he will have one. A girl is much more than prospective wife. People need to understand that. Marriage is not her destiny.

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