But believe me, I know and acknowledge everything you’ve done for me.
Now I know reading this might make you tear up a little bit. How could your little one say something like this to you? You created me. You fed me. You made me who I am today. After all you’ve done for me, how could I repay you like this? But just for a little bit, put yourselves in my shoes and try to see what I’m about to show you.
In the truest sense, I couldn’t have asked for better guardians. You put me to sleep when I was afraid. You fed me when I was hungry. You fought the demons that haunted my dreams. You stayed up every time I had a fever. No matter how clichéd it sounds, you gave up your adulthood so that I could enjoy my childhood. You gave up your luxuries to fulfill my necessities. I have and always will be thankful for everything, no matter how little, that you’ve done for me.
I’ve learnt to stay away from fire only after I burnt my finger.
But I’ve grown up now. Yes mom, I know I still forget to carry a jacket when it’s cold but in the literal sense, I’ve grown up. I’m not in a bubble anymore so let’s stop pretending like I am fragile. I’ve been through situations that may not seem like a lot to you, but I’ve learnt to stay away from fire only after I burnt my finger. I have had my share of experience and I think I can make my own decisions. But even if they’re wrong in the end, I will have learnt my lesson and it will be my journey to treasure.
Now I know for a long time you have been worried about what I’m going to do in life. Will I take up the ‘professional’ degree and have a mainstream 9 to 5 job or will I do something entirely different? But I am worried, too! I still have no damn idea of what I want to do with my life but I want to figure my path as and when I go. But don’t think I haven’t noticed your strategies.
I know how hard you’ve both tried to sway me in your direction.
I know how Dad always wanted to become an engineer but being the oldest in the family, he had to pick up an easy-paying job. And I know how mom has always dreamt of having at least one of her children to have a ‘Dr.’ in front of their name. And rightly so! Everyone in her kitty party boasts about the ‘success’ of their kids. I know how hard you’ve both tried to sway me in your direction but Ma, Papa; I want to follow my dreams, not yours.
Because this chain will never end! I will follow your dreams and expect my kids to fulfill mine. It’s a vicious cycle, to be honest. So I think it’s best for both worlds that I do what my heart wants me to.
Now I may or may not do something that is traditional. I may not even have a 9 to 5 job. I might do something you’ve never even heard of. I might not even get paid in the initial years. But it will be something that I love doing. It will be something that I will be good at. It will be something that I’ll be happy doing.
Otherwise, I will sit in the scheduled train or bus and think about how I never even got an opportunity. I will sit at my assigned desk and hate you for not letting me do what I do best. And after all you’ve done for me, I will hate to hate you!
And Mom, you never know. I may end up studying for a Ph.D. So one way or another, I may have a ‘Dr.’ before my name.
Hoping that you understand,
Your child who has grown up a little
Author: Zainab Haji