I know you had always thought I was a bright child but I wish you’d ask me to take a break sometimes.
Hello! You know me, right? I’m your average student. Yes, I said student, not child or teenager or even human. Because that’s what I’m called these days, right? I’m a mere common noun lost in the crowd. A faceless figure in the hundreds that the education system manufactures every year. A name not remembered amongst the million rejected applications. I am a student that you’ve molded into your desired and defined shape.
Even if I commit suicide, it’s not even on the front page of the newspaper. It’s no big news. It will be printed after the article about the celebrity who was spotted at another celebrity’s house. The headline will read ‘Another student commits suicide under pressure’. Another student! Not even my name! And the newspaper will be thrashed without anyone even bothering to read the article. They will probably shake their heads and claim ‘what a waste’. That’s what I become. A nameless news article!
I’m the student that you always thought would make you proud.
Hey, mom and dad. How are you doing? Remember me? I’m the student that you always thought would make you proud. The student you thought would become a doctor, lawyer, engineer and CA. You always boasted in front of our neighbors about how your 5 year old came first in class and would finally fulfill your dreams. I’m sorry I failed! I swear I had burned all my novels along with my dreams of becoming a writer because that’s not a real profession, right? But I just couldn’t cope with all the pressure.
I merely wished to make myself known.
After certain movies I thought maybe I had a disability but after certain ones I thought I was just part of a herd. I still tried my best. I would sleep late and wake up early to study. Sometimes, I would be lucky enough to get 4 hours of sleep a day and let’s not even get started on the nightmares.
I just wished to make you proud but I didn’t know this was the only way. I merely wished to make myself known. I simply wished to learn. And sometimes, I only wished to sleep.