I know that my life is pretty entertaining, but please don’t make it your tea-time discussion.

Recently I’d been getting a whole new of bunch of advice from my mom. For example,

“What are you wearing? Cover up a little please.”

“Who was that boy who came to drop you home last night? Try coming home before 7pm.”

“You know that lady on the fifth floor? Her son’s scores are the highest in the district! Why can’t you be more focused as well?”

Now, for some people this may seem very normal. But not for me.

My mom was never like this; up until we moved cities, anyway.

Yes, it’s been two months since we shifted houses and these transformations in my mother are scaring me to the core. So, I started doing my own investigations only to find that whatever I was going through was all because of you.

Yes, you; my very own lovely neighbours!

Now, don’t look at this with those judgemental, beady eyes of yours. I know you’ve been keeping tabs on me and I also know that you’ve been conveying some very misleading information to my mother. I would go ahead and call it brainwashing but I’ve had a very nice upbringing and wouldn’t want to insult my elders *smiles innocently*.

In all of these twenty years of existence, I myself, never found my life that interesting to make a dramatic storyline out of it. But somehow, you did.

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As much as I’m annoyed by your constant presence coupled with those hushed whispers, I’m intrigued as well.

I mean, you find my life interesting.

In all of these twenty years of existence, I myself, never found my life that interesting to make a dramatic storyline out of it. But somehow, you did.

Bravo.

I’m sorry dear neighbours, I don’t intend to be rude (since you’ll probably go and rat me out to my parents). All I want to know is, isn’t there an interesting TV show or news affair to discuss at tea? And if there is, and I still make it to your top discussion themes for the day, then I am truly honoured!

Now, I know that you haven’t heard of the phrases that say, ‘None of your business’ or ‘To poke your nose in someone else’s business’ but some privacy would be greatly appreciated.

Why do you have to put J.K Rowling to shame and go on imagining about my lack of character?

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Yes, I come home late at night. No, the guy who usually drops me home isn’t my boyfriend. And even if he is, what’s that of any concern to you?

Why do you have to put J.K Rowling to shame and go on imagining about my lack of character?

Forget imagination, I would say you put the pettiness of a third grader to shame.

She roams out all night = She’s a party animal = She must be an alcoholic = A definite drug addict.

= Nymphomaniac too? = Bad influence, must keep our sons away from her.

= Does her mom know? = Let’s do the kind deed by filling her in on what her daughter’s up to.

= We’re the best neighbours on the planet!

And if character assassination of an average binge-watching, junk-food-eating, studying-all-night student wasn’t enough, you come marching at my doors, telling my parents how to and how not to go about my upbringing. To top it all off, you complain that I don’t greet you while crossing paths on the elevator.

Maybe someday we’ll start talking, if you stop gossiping. Deal?

Thanks for making me your celebrity,
The Neighbourhood Topic Of Discussion.



Author: Alisha Jamshed Syed

One comment

  1. This is quite funny as hell as true af don’t know why do they do such things may b they get bored whole day and tryna do this awfull things to get them fresh lol

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