Oops, I’m talking about the clothing item ‘that must not be named’.

There! I said it! BRA. BRASSERIE. LINGERIE. INNER WEAR.

If that poor piece of cloth offends you so much, why do you keep gossiping
about it? Why do you stare at my bra straps when they peek out
unceremoniously? Why do you try to gauge my cup size when it’s none of your
business?! I mean it’s just an overly expensive fabric meant to support two,
very natural bags of flesh. Why make such a big deal out of it? Why?

Yes, I know that men like boobs. It’s natural. Yes, I also know that all men aren’t the same. But I do have a problem when my personal business is blown out of proportion (no pun intended)! I’ve heard some men talk about breasts as if they were medals on actresses’ bodies; that too in public. I mean, why all the obsession around a normal body part? Please pay more attention to politics instead, or maybe debate over human rights. The nation needs more people to ponder upon such topics and not whether ABC’s bra size is bigger than XYZ’s or not. How would you feel if random women spoke about your
underwear size that way?

The severity of the growing list of things that eat at a woman’s self-respect is
concerning.

dear men 2

Having weird fetishes or wild fantasies isn’t the problem here. In case you
didn’t know this, women too, judge men on the basis of the number of abs or
bicep sizes. But, I have yet to see a woman who was disrespectful about it, who
openly mocked someone or made a guy seem inferior about himself. It must
exist somewhere, but you need to admit the rarity of it. The severity of the
growing list of things that eat at a woman’s self-respect is concerning.

What most people overlook is the objectification of an everyday thing that
comes with womanhood. We even think twice before going bra-shopping
these days! A basic necessity has become a controversy! And we have your
double standards to thank for it. My sexy lacy bras, comfy sport bras, even my
pokey underwire are part of my support system! They’re not a subject for
public discussion, neither are they a judge of my character. I don’t even know
who comes up with these all-time favourite, stupid stereotypes, anymore!

In our judgemental society, at least let my inner wear be something of my
choice please!

dear men 1

Sometimes I wonder if the boy sitting near me on the train is going to leap
from his seat and measure my bra size just to quench his curiosity or maybe he
has never seen a boob/ bra in his entire life. Come on! At least be subtle about
the staring if you absolutely have to do it. Haven’t you learnt anything from us
women yet?

On a serious note, I would very much like my ‘girl problems’ to be mine only.
Because I most definitely do not choose my lingerie keeping in mind that
random stranger who has still not figured out the difference between a
‘checking-out stare’ and a ‘cheap stare’. In our judgemental society, at least let
my inner wear be something of my choice please! (This is especially for that
bra salesman who seems to know my breasts better than me).

So, dear men, I have boobs, I wear bras; deal with it by not really dealing with
it! Let’s not poke our noses in places they aren’t needed or welcomed.

Staring right back at you,
An ‘overreacting’ female.



Author: Alisha Jamshed Syed

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