We aren’t a thesis to be understood or a box of dismantled furniture to come with a set of instructions.

We’re always cribbing about one thing or the other as if PMSing throughout the year. We have mood swings which can almost always be cured with chocolate. We are a different species that National Geographic should cover and talk about! We scream feminism loudly but crib when you don’t hold the door open for us.

That’s what women are, right?

Wrong! We are anything but all that! Yes, we crib about PMS and cramps but imagine for a second, bleeding for seven days straight your entire life with extreme pain in your whole body. And yet, the world expecting you to act normal and go on with your usual routine with a plastered smile and not saying a word about it.

Some or the other man will grope your butt when you walk on the sidewalk.

dear men 2

You say we have mood swings and are ill-tempered but imagine this, every time you walk on the road, some sleaze catcalls you. This does not depend on what you’re wearing. Be it a burkha, a saree or a mini skirt, some or the other man will grope your butt when you walk on the sidewalk.

Imagine being called the office-slut when you’re actually good at what you’re doing and get a well-deserved promotion. Imagine being called names and laughed at when the boss calls you in his cabin for longer than a minute.

In such a world, we are struggling to find a safe spot.

dear men 3

Imagine being raped and going to the court to fight your case. The lawyer asks you where you were touched, what lingerie you were wearing and what it felt like. Don’t forget, you’re supposed to answer all of these in a room full of strangers and loudly and clearly, too!

In such a world, we are struggling to find a safe spot. We will maybe even come to you for support thinking you’d be our constant shoulder when we have moments of weakness. And, we know that we are fairly capable of opening doors for ourselves but it just feels nice to see you making a little extra effort to hold it open for us!

We are not difficult to understand only if you pay a little attention and listen. So look around, you don’t know which woman is hiding which scar behind her beautiful smile!


A woman!

Author: Zainab Haji


  1. its beautifully written and above that all this is so true. we women are not so difficult to understand. it’s your mindset which makes it difficult for you to get it. just keep your little brain open when u r trying to understand a woman.

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