I miss the time I spent with you, by your side and in your embrace.
I’ve fallen in love a few times ever since we fell out of it. Over the years, I’ve had some guys chasing me but no one has been quite like you. Everything about you amused me and now people rarely do. Maybe I’m just tired and don’t want to make new bonds, it’s so tiring even to think about it. It’s because no matter how much they care about me, a part of me always tells me that they don’t know me like you do. You were my first forever and back then I thought you’d be the only one.
You used to be one of the few people I could actually talk to, without trying to maintain the conversation. I was the careful daughter, the human form of skepticism and you shattered all the walls around me. Maybe I would have been too much of a realist without you. You took me off the ground and I believed in love, in forever, in always. I went from being the guarded fortress to someone who believes in soul mates and unconditional love.
For some reason, I cannot explain why I’m glad my First Love ended this way.
For the longest time, I’ve wondered what I could have done better, what I could have unsaid to make our relationship work. I wonder what broke us, but I realise that it wasn’t something that you did or I didn’t, it was everything about us, around us, the hiccups spiralled into unavoidable circumstances. It wasn’t because I’m a little bit crazy, or because you pushed me away. We just stopped loving each other. I think about it and it hurts but I go on, because there’s nothing I can do about it. I wish there was some way I could fix what happened between us…or maybe not.
When you said you’d love me forever, I really didn’t think you meant it and maybe that’s what happened. You and me…we were not meant to be. For some reason, I cannot explain why I’m glad my first love ended this way.
I even wrote poetry about us. Do you want to read? “The last time I saw your face was while you were still trying to get out of our embrace/and something about your eyes told me it was no longer ours.”
You are not my only chance at finding love.
Back then I thought you were The One for me. So, when we ended, I was devastated. I had stopped loving myself just as I had stopped loving you. With time, I realized that you are not my only chance at finding love. The more I got to know other people who cared for me, the more I came to realize how little you actually did.
Currently, I’m single and I’m happier than I have ever been with someone else. I am grateful for all the memories. There’s always been some selfish part of me that has wished you wouldn’t move on but I am done being petty. Let’s make our peace with the past?
I’ve learnt valuable lessons from each man that I ended up dating but you taught me the most important one. I believe in love, with or without you. It would have been nice if we worked our relationship out as we were compatible, but I have no regrets. People come into our lives with happiness and leave us with lessons and it’s okay if they’re not in our lives anymore. Your memories and lessons will always be cherished by me. We are exactly where we are supposed to be.
Have A Good Future,