There is no point in doing something that makes you so unhappy.
We’ve known each other for such a long time now. I have seen your joy during the season’s first rainfall and I have been around when you were sad because of low grades. I understand you well enough to say that you are a happy person. You enjoy the little pleasures of life such as a window seat in the local train or coffee from your favourite cafe. You were never this irritable, cranky person that you have become. You never even smile anymore.
All of this stress and moodiness began when you started dating your current boyfriend. You couldn’t believe that someone as cool as him wanted to go out with someone like you. Your self-esteem took a hit and you tried to compensate by doing everything you could to make your guy happy. But I have been the silent spectator to all your fights and I have observed how he never considers your opinion. He always takes you for granted and refuses to commit exclusively to you. He takes and he takes all that you offer but never gives you anything in return. Sweetheart, you are a wreck and your toxic relationship is the cause.
The relationship cannot be all about him. You are an important part of it too.
Relationships are supposed to be based on mutual love and respect. All decisions should be taken by the two of you together. But you don’t get even the smallest say in this relationship. I have seen you rush to the other end of the town because he craved sushi. He hasn’t even brought you chicken soup when you were sick with a bad cold and a fever. You are up to date on the latest superhero movie but which was the last romantic comedy that you watched? The relationship cannot be all about him. You are an important part of it too.
Do you realise that you are slowly distancing yourself from all your friends? You have to spend every free moment with your boyfriend or he gets mad at you. He won’t even let you text your male friends let alone hang out with them. Every minute of your life has to be devoted to him or your relationship. Meanwhile he flirts with other girls all the time and has come pretty close to cheating on you. This behaviour is not fair to you. It causes you so much pain.
You don’t need this toxicity in your life.
You are on the verge of losing your brilliant personality because of this person you are trapped in a relationship with. He’s moulding you into his version of perfection but honey, you are perfect just the way you are. You deserve to be happy too. You should be treated with respect and love. You don’t need your loyalty to be questioned at every turn. You should not have to prove your innocence every time. Your boyfriend must not control every aspect of your life through threats of breaking up.
This relationship is not doing anything for you. It’s only hurting you and you don’t need this toxicity in your life. You know I love you and you know I want only the best for you. That is why I am asking you to leave this guy forever. Any kind of relationship that does not make you happy is just a waste of effort. You need to get away from his controlling and negative presence. Then you can start healing your shattered self-confidence and go back to being the happy and carefree person that you actually are. You have to choose yourself over your boyfriend before it is too late.
Your concerned friend!
Author: Maitreyee Mhatre