Have I ever followed my advices with ‘Take it or leave it’?

Hey, friend! It’s me. The person who is sitting back and watching you ruin your life one bad choice at a time. Now before you pull out the judgmental guns on me, let me explain. I am not a bad friend. I don’t get satanic pleasure in watching people mess up (I do get satanic pleasure in waiting until an ice cream melts into liquid before eating/drinking it). I am not a horrible human but you really haven’t left me much choice.

Do you remember that time when the two of us were in 4th grade and you thought DIY-ing bangs was a good idea? You were there, with an evil grin on your face, cutting your hair one strand at a time as I stood there screaming, begging you not to! But did you listen to me? Well, the baby hair on your forehead can tell.

From the infamous ‘fringes-incident’ until today, I’ve been there wildly shaking my head at every wrong idea.

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Now we’ve grown up together (quite literally since we were neighbors). I’ve seen you go through it all. From the infamous ‘fringes-incident’ until today, I’ve been there wildly shaking my head at every wrong idea.

Do you remember that other day when we had gone club hopping and you got really drunk…well, I really don’t think you do! Nevertheless, you had come to me and hollered over the loud music how you thought that stranger was cute. I was 9 shots down too, but I vividly remember screaming no! But the rebel that you are, you went ahead and hooked up with him anyway. The next day, it was awkward for me to explain to your mother that the bruise you had on your lip was because you tripped and fell and not because some stranger bit you.

The innocent being that you are, you don’t see the bad in people.

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Now I’m not saying that I have attained enlightenment and that all my advices are the best but the innocent being that you are, you don’t see the bad in people. And then you end up getting hurt – physically and emotionally!

But that’s the best I can do, right? Just give advices. You have to live your life on your own after all. So the next time you ask me for advice, I will give you the best and then you can do whatever the hell it was you were going to do anyway!

Still shaking her head,
Your adviser!



Author: Zainab Haji

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