But it will change the ‘way’ I love you.

Confused? Is this some twisted way of stating premature wife dominance?

No, not really.

All I’m trying to say is, there’s going to be a gap between how I loved my boyfriend and how I’m going to love my husband. But don’t you worry, because it’s not going to be something *scoffs* life changing. You’ll still be my ‘forever and always‘ (just bounded by the holy matrimony).

To those who say that love dies the moment one utters those treacherous marriage vows? Duck you.

fiance 3

Now, I don’t want you to make that irritating but equally cute, frustrated expression of yours. Life after marriage will change, my dear. It’s inevitable. But that doesn’t mean that our relationship has to. And to those who say that love dies the moment one utters those treacherous marriage vows? Duck you.

I know I shouldn’t get all cocky right now. I’m experiencing the same marriage jitters you are (maybe more than that). But I refuse to lose faith in us and I don’t care about what others think of my uncanny optimism *flips hair*.

Coming back the other point of this letter. I want to tell you what we’re not going to do. We’re not going to try and act like we’re still dating. There’s no such thing as consistent love! People change; and the relationship suffers when their love doesn’t. In order to make it work, you too, need to forget loving your girlfriend. You have to learn to love your wife instead.

Sounds easy? Weird? Difficult? Now I know what you must be thinking. Your girlfriend and your wife are just two versions of me at different times, right? But unless you learn to live with that time difference, we cannot be happy. Did you know that’s one of the main reasons why love marriages don’t work? Yeah, me neither. I read that in a magazine.

Anyway, what I’m trying to say is, please don’t be upset if I won’t take you to your favourite restaurants that often. For I’m learning to cook! And even if my food doesn’t turn out to be as good as yours does, it will have my love in it; which will never change.

All I really want is, for us to be that annoying couple who’ll always be ‘still together’.

fiance 5

I know I’m dishing out supposed ‘marriage advice’ when I’m not really qualified to do so. But all I really want is, for us to be that annoying couple who’ll always be ‘still together’. I do want you to be mine for life; never mind if all I do is fight with you till 40 and spend the remaining years making up for it!

Yes, get ready for more fights and arguments, my love. Even my optimism doesn’t stop me from predicting this same old fact from ‘Marriage 101’. It’s obvious that two people living in the same house, sharing a life, will have issues! That does not in any way mean that we have ‘marital problems’ for which we will need ‘couples’ counselling’. The point of mentioning this is, no matter what the future brings us, irrespective of the vast differences you notice in me as a wife, just know that I’ll always be with you. Our wedding vows and proposal rings mean something sacred. And I’m going to put in every possible effort to make it last. Will you?

People say that when one gets cold feet, they keep thinking about all the ‘marriage problems’ they might go through in the near future. All I can think about are the new ways I’ll get to fall in love with you again!

Morning kisses instead of Whatsapp messages.

Breakfast in bed and not brunch dates.

Getting to argue over your daily habits and not just your tardiness.

But you know what’s the best part? Having your name connected to mine, till death do us apart.

Thanks for loving this not-so-marriage material,
Your fiancée.

Author: Alisha Jamshed Syed

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