You remember me, don’t you?

We’ve shared some memories together. Do you remember? You used to whisper into my ear that I’ll slip and fall awkwardly in front of a crowd. Even my Ma’s warm embrace wasn’t comforting because you kept telling me that one day, these arms will hug me no more. Every time I went for an interview or gave a presentation, I could see you smiling in the corner. For a while there, you even had me believe that I was incapable of love.

Even when I was little, you insisted I stop climbing trees once and for all. You made me check thrice under my bed every time went to sleep. You told me to run to the bed as fast as I could after I switched the lights off. Because of you, I never learnt how to swim or cycle. You had that strong of a hold on me.

Well, no more!


I bid farewell to you today.

Sure enough, you will still linger around and try to whisper all sorts of things into my ears when I’m alone or even in public. But I will not let any of it affect me anymore. You can take your sidekicks – panic, anxiety and depression with you and go someplace else. I know you love to think that you have a powerful grip over me. But not anymore! I’m just not interested in your games anymore. I know you will still make my heart skip a beat and my stomach sink at times, but I will not fear anymore. I will meet you head on with memories that I’ve had with your old nemesis, happiness.

From this day forth, I end my relationship with you. So please do not write to me back or call me in the middle of the night. From this day forward, I will brighten every room with my confidence so that there are no shadows for you to lurk in. I will outlast you. I will overcome you. I will be happy.


A believer

Author: Zainab Haji

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