“You are the only person who knows my upbringing and understands why I am the way I am today.”

I don’t even know where to begin. There’s just so much I want to say. So many memories I want to reflect on. But I’ll start by saying this; I love you more than I’d like to accept.

I can’t write this letter without mentioning how incredibly difficult you’ve made my life with all your teasing and your meanness. I know that it’s an elder sister’s birth right to annoy her sibling. But I think you took your right too seriously.

As I think back today, I remember all those times you told complete strangers that I was adopted when they said we didn’t look alike. I don’t know how you came up with a new story each time – “she was found in a garbage bin”, “her birth parents were too poor to raise her”, “she was picked from outside a temple”. I’ve lost count of the number of times I stabbed you to death in my head back then.

As I was growing up, I was more scared of you than I was of mom. We both know ma could be easily fooled. But you weren’t as easy since you’ve used all the tricks that I tried. I used to go to great lengths to keep my doings a secret from you. But you’d always find a way around. How I hated you then!

“I think between all your criticisms, I became a better person.”

sisters 1.jpegNo matter how much I hate you, I’ve always looked up to you. I’ve tried to imitate you in almost every way. And you have no idea how immensely proud I am to be called your sister.

Soon, you’ll get married and leave everything behind. You’ll leave me behind. Whose clothes will I (secretly) wear then? Who will laugh at the silly jokes I crack about mom and dad? Whose typos will I correct? Who will ask me the spelling of ‘and’ or ‘the’? Who will call me when I’m busy at work and ask me captions for their new post on Instagram? Who will I sneak in the house late at night when everyone’s asleep? Who will wake me up early in the morning and ask me for fashion advice?

Well, finally I’ll get a larger sleeping area. So that’s one good thing!

Actually to be honest, I’d rather be sleeping crammed up next to you than sleeping comfortably knowing you’re not around.

I think between all your criticisms, I became a better person. I’ve never told you this before but I am where I am because of you. And for that I owe you so much.


Your little sister.

Author: Zainab Haji

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