What pleasure did that woman give you in a day that I couldn’t in all those years?
After the incessant nagging of my mother, I finally decided to clean my cupboard last night. I started separating the things that I make use of from the things that were useless. And you know what I found? The tiny heart-shaped toy that you had gifted to me all those years ago and I had so carefully hidden from my mom’s prying eyes. The memory of the satisfaction I had received from smuggling the toy into the house and then hiding it cautiously from Ma brought a smile to my face. How childish teenage love was!
How carefree we were!
In simpler times, we were just a pair of teenagers who were so in love that we cared about nothing. Neither the judgmental glances of society at our PDA nor the nosiness of my sibling. The thought of checking each other’s phones or getting jealous and paranoid at tiny things were phrases we hadn’t even heard of. Trust and unchanging love was what held us together. How carefree we were! Innocent love they call it, don’t they?
Now I wish I was slightly more careful. I’m not saying I should have persistently followed your every move or made it my religion to check what you were doing but just a little sense would have helped tons. Because to be honest, all the signs were right there.
I knew I wasn’t the only one.
But you know what they say, if it’s meant to be, it will be. So no amount of love from my end could have saved what we had. If you’d rather have her legs wrapped around you than my arms, then be my guest. For I had tried saving this one-sided relationship but somehow, I knew I wasn’t the only one.
So yes, you must have guessed right. The little heart-shaped toy went into the pile of dump!
The love you lost because of lust.
Author: Zainab Haji