I wish I would’ve written this letter earlier. Nevertheless, here I am apologising.

While growing up, every time I looked in the mirror, I would wince. I would see scars, pimples, fat, too much hair in places I didn’t want and scanty hair in the places that I did. I would see dark circles and I would see a misshapen nose. I knew then that I wasn’t attractive.

I would tuck in my stomach as I walked anywhere in the campus, hardly breathing.

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I grew up with that notion. School and college were an absolute nightmare. Not because I was bullied or someone else called me ugly but because I wasn’t myself. I wouldn’t stand up to opportunities. I would lurk in the shadows. I would tuck in my stomach as I walked anywhere in the campus, hardly breathing.

I forced tonics and juices that tasted completely horrible into my body. I put on lotions and creams, actually anything that I could lay my hands on. I tried so many weird methods of losing weight. Why?

I have flaws which show I’m human.

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What was I hoping for? To miraculously look like the model on the glossy covers of magazines? Why did I focus on the shape of my feet instead of feeling how beautiful the wet sand felt against them?

Today, years later, I realized the true meaning of beauty. I realize that I am beautiful in every way. There is beauty in the roundness of my face and there’s beauty in my chipped off nails. I have flaws which show I’m human and those flaws make me different from the many faces in the world.

So today, when I look in the mirror, I won’t see my misshapen nose. I will see my bright eyes that reflect how beautiful I truly am. Today when I look in the mirror, I will see myself for who I really am!

Love,

A beautiful soul!




Author: Zainab Haji

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