Why did you have to throw it all away?
I’m tempted to sketch out a huge rant after I heard about what has been going on in your life for the past year and a half. But I won’t. Being your soul sister for as long as I can remember, it’s hurtful to say that I’ve never been more disappointed in you. I know it’s terrible; the things you must’ve suffered through. A manipulative husband, shattered dreams, abusive in-laws, guilty conscience and never-ending nightmares. But female foeticide? Don’t cringe. That’s what it was. And sadly, my dear, you’re obligated to live with that burden forever.
I can fight the world for you; but not when you’re on the wrong side.
As I write this letter, my life here, halfway around the world is slowly being packed into boxes. If only I could’ve gotten to you a few months earlier. You have no idea how helpless and angry I feel right now. And honestly, I wish I could take it out on you. But I can’t make myself do it. Yes, you were dealing with difficult times. No, you didn’t make them known to me. Yes, you were dealing with sexist in-laws and unsupportive parents. But did you take a stand for your unborn child? Every word I write now, is killing me from the inside. But it’s imperative that it’s said. Because I’m your bestie, remember? I can fight the world for you; but not when you’re on the wrong side.
No matter how this letter sounds to you right now, I’m not here to dissect your wrong doings, dear best friend. I just need you to know that you could’ve been stronger. You still can. I remember you from our girl gang’s sleepovers. How you used to be the one to make sure everybody was drinking ‘safely’. You were the only one who cared about clearing off the dishes or looking after our relationship issues back then. I just know that you would’ve made a wonderful mom. Caring, loving and just the right amount of authoritarian. One courageous step could’ve saved two lives instead of just yours.
Killing off a female child just because it couldn’t become the son they wanted it to be? It has truly left me speechless.
It’s crazy how our so-called modern society is even more backward than most villages. It’s expected that hardly anyone would care about sex ratio or the fact that sex determination before birth is illegal in a country like ours. But killing off a female child just because it couldn’t become the son they wanted it to be? It has truly left me speechless. Talk about urban living – the dream.
I know what you must be thinking. Of course, it’s easy to talk about bravery against the big, bad world and go on glorifying a mother’s love. I’m aware that only few have the will power to go through with what’s right. I was a teen mom, wasn’t I? It was grinding to live through those years. But you stood by me. Like a rock. That’s what tears me apart even more. For I know you to be a strong woman of character and iron clad morals. It’s not in you to end a life. We all pay for our mistakes. But I hope and pray that one life, doesn’t cost you another i.e. yours.
All said and done, I wish that this letter gives you the boost of courage to escape from your life now, which has become miserable since after the wedding. A few more days and I shall be by your side, both physically and mentally this time. It’s high time that we set things right. I’ll walk you through it, just like you always have; for me.
Sending strength and compassion your way,
Your long-lost best friend.
Author: Alisha Jamshed Syed